PRESENT TENSE

I didn't know when I started to hate a series of alphabet.

all I know is someday I woke up in my desk with hands stained with inks and the words I never got to finish making shapes in front of my eyes—and suddenly, I hated every word with series of e's and d's in the end of it. cried. hugged. adored. trusted. loved. every damn words with e's and d's. I hate it. I hated the word hated. I despise it.

because e's and d's have the power of changing every meaning I want to say. because those silly alphabets hold the chance of making everything to stop existing. to make everything seems like it's long ago in the past; forgotten.

those silly alphabets made me scared to read your texts. that someday you decided to use those alphabets in every continuous tense you used to use. I'm afraid that someday your fingers pressed d right after you typed love. I'm afraid you'll used those alphabet to change every meaning of I love you's and to make every feelings to stop existing.

I'm afraid of the power that alphabet can ruin. I'm afraid you'll change I trust you to I trusted you—like you didn't anymore. I'm afraid one day I'll read your text where it used to show 'good morning, I love you.' to 'good bye, I loved you.'

up until now, I'm still so so so afraid.

because now you've moved on, and I still love you.

present tense.